After losing over five years of my life in fear of what other people would say, and as a teenager hiding because of my acne; I realized that I had some major catching up to do. I had a choice to make. I could be like everyone else and think about it, or I could just do it.

But what happens when most people think about doing something?

Quite often they allow fear to step in and fear stops them dead in their tracks. Once fear sets in, indecision follows. With indecision comes procrastination. With procrastination comes paralysis, and nothing changes. Fear of change is one choice. Unfortunately, the choice too many people make is to allow fear of the unknown rule their lives.

The other choice is to do the opposite. Don’t think about it, “Just do it” as stated by Nike advertising! If I just go and do it, what is the worst thing that can happen? Right, I fail. And if I fail, what is the outcome?

Success is based on good judgment. Good judgment comes from experience. How does one get experience?

Sometimes you have to fail often to succeed once. But that fear of failure stops you from even trying. That is one of the reasons why people procrastinate. They think about it too much.

If you just do it and fail, what is the worst thing that can happen? You will learn a lesson. If you really want to succeed, you may have to overcome fear and double your failure rate.

When I realized this fact, I developed a “do it now” attitude. I no longer thought endlessly about things because I realized that the longer I thought about doing something, the more fear would set in. The longer I hesitated before doing it; I risked not doing it at all.

I put fear and procrastination behind me and started to just do things without thinking. I realized the worst that could happen is I might learn something.

I have replaced fear with accepting failure, and failure is now part of my daily life. I don’t always take the time to think things out. I am a doer, and I learn and move forward by doing.

This attitude provides me with plenty of opportunity to fail and to be criticized for doing certain things. I have experienced so much failure in my life that I am now much wiser because of it. I believe that both failure and success are part of life’s balance, and there is no place for fear.

The more you try, the more you fail but the more you succeed! If you let fear into the picture, you don’t try. You’ll neither fail nor succeed.

When society realizes the good that comes from failure and not from giving into fear; then, people are recognized for trying and the world is a better place because of it. All success comes from failure at one time or another. No one in the world has succeeded without first trying, failing, learning, making changes, and finally moving on.

Overcome your fears and always remember that you have the right to fail; you no longer have to make excuses for your failed attempts. Instead, reflect on that failure and learn from it. That experience will provide you with better judgment for the future, and will eventually lead you to success.

Failure is not easy to accept, but there is an another way to get around it. Fear stops people and what makes matters worse with failure is people have a tendency to beat themselves up in the course of their self-talk. When you do this, you are lowering your self-confidence, your self-esteem, your self-respect and your self-worth.

You may do this to the point where you no longer take any risks or even do something out of the ordinary. Fear rules! You will become like many others and won’t take any risks.

The alternative is to rebuild that courage you once had as a child. Part of life’s learning is to try new things and to accept failure. However, when you fail, do not beat yourself up about it; instead look for the lesson learned. Once you discover what that lesson is, pat yourself on the back for having the courage to do something you haven’t done before.

These new lessons will build your self-confidence, your self esteem, your self-respect and your self-worth. It will give you the courage to succeed in life and make you feel good about yourself.

Warning: Patting yourself too often on the back can go to your head. To avoid any ego trips, always end the pat on the back with a hand movement across the neck which indicates you don’t want it to go to your head.

You need to be able to see the good behind every experience in life. Rather than living in fear of the unknown and criticizing yourself or others for failing, recognize the things which were done right, the effort to move forward, and the lessons learned.

What is stopping you from moving forward?

Failure is the opportunity to begin again more intelligently.
Henry Ford

We see the Smiths down the street with a beautiful home, a swimming pool and a new car. By the looks of things, we might consider the Smiths successful, since most people tend to base success on material possessions.

But are they, or is it just a front to try to impress the neighbours?

For all we know, they could hate what they are doing, they could be heavily in debt and not very happy. So why do we judge people by their external appearances and material possessions and compare ourselves with their apparent success?

Is that what success is all about to you?

Success means different things to different people. The reality is, success means whatever you want it to mean for you. Don’t compare yourself with others and what they think success means. Believe it or not, you are already successful in many different ways. You just haven’t taken the time to realize it yet.

I am sure you’ve succeeded in accomplishing many of the things you desire in life, such as learning to ride a bike, learning to read and write, graduating, buying a car or a home, finding the right person and getting married, having children, and so on. These are all desires or goals that you have accomplished.

You have succeeded so far in your life, haven’t you?

Let’s take a look at two couples. Peter and Mary dress really well, drive BMWs, live in a beautiful home and always appear to have money to spend. Would you classify them as a success?

Based on the information provided, you probably would. But if we go behind the scenes, we discover that they are not happy in their jobs, they are in debt over their heads and their only goal is for one of their fathers to die so that they can inherit his money.

How many people do you know that live a life of “fake success”?

They are living their life from the outside in. Is this what success is all about?

Another couple, John and Sandra, appear a little different to society. John stays home and takes care of three children, while Sandra, a petite blond, leaves each morning with a metal lunch box and a hard hat and works in construction.

Would you classify them as a success?

Based on the information provided, you probably would not. But going behind the scenes, we discover that they are happy and each is living the life of their dreams.

When John was a child, his parents never seemed to be around. They were always busy at work or elsewhere. When John was a teenager, he set a goal for himself to be a parent and his dream was to stay home and raise children. Today, John stays home and parents full-time.

As for Sandra, she used to work in the corporate world but always had a passion to get involved in high-rise construction and leave landmarks around the world.

Is each partner doing what they want to be doing? Are they successful? Do you think they care what society thinks of them?

They are living their life from the inside out. Isn’t that what success is all about?

Look back again at the two different ways we have looked at success. In the first example, we looked at success from an external point of view and we compared ourselves to others.

In the second example, we considered success from an internal point of view which is a view of our desires in life and they don’t have to revolve around money, power or material things.

Your desire could be for a certain lifestyle, education, career, marriage or anything you want to have, to be or to do.

Success is the progressive accomplishment of a worthy goal or idea.

If there is something you want to have, to be or to do and you move forward toward accomplishing that desire, you will succeed. Success is not just about material things, it’s about you.

Success is not about how society sees you but how you see yourself.
It is an inside out approach to success. You have to know yourself and your personal motivators if you want to travel the road of personal success and happiness.

How do you see yourself?

Excerpt from the book, Disciplined for Life, You Are the Author of Your Future by Bob Urichuck

Earlier this month, millions of people around the world ventured down a path well travelled. It is a path which is commonly paved with bold and sometimes hastily conceived New Year’s Resolutions.

Unfortunately, over 60% of people who declare New Year’s resolutions will not see their resolutions through to fruition. They give up within the first 14 to 21 days.

That period, when resolutions are usually relinquished, has now arrived.

Did you stand by your commitments? Are you disciplined? If the answer is yes, congratulations!

If not, you are one of those resigning statistics? Is that who you want to be?

Is that the type of life you choose to live? Are you actually giving up on all your dreams and desires to become a failing statistic?

Are those the actions you want to exhibit to your family, friends and co-workers so they may follow in your footsteps?

Theodore Roosevelt said “With Self Discipline, all things are possible. Without it, even the simplest goal can seem an impossible dream.”

Do you want to have the discipline to make your dreams a reality?

Now is the time to take control of your life. Find the discipline necessary to accomplish everything you resolved to do in 2010. Discipline is 100% within your control and will increase your overall performance by 100%.

Discipline means respecting a commitment to yourself and doing what you have to do, even when you don’t want to do it. When you recognize and reward good behaviour, such as discipline, it is repeated.

Discipline becomes a habit. Life is sometimes placed on auto pilot and therefore, you can end up on the same runway. We need to take control ourselves by utilizing effective habits and discipline.

Don’t give up on the most important person in the world! Make a decision to improve with discipline and do it now before it is too late!

Don’t wait! Don’t think about it! Just do it!

Be disciplined for life and you too can become the author of your future.

Indecision saps willpower. Disciplined people do not struggle with questions such as “Should I give up?”

Disciplined individuals simply improve. They don’t think about it. Like the Nike ads, they just do it!

When we just do it, it gets done. Go ahead, do what you set out to do and do it now!

Recognize and reward yourself for having the discipline to do what you said you would and before long, discipline will be an effective, daily habit.

If you need help with discipline, simply ask here…

Discipline is defined as a commitment to the most important person in the world – YOU. It means doing what you have to do, even when you don’t want to do it.

Discipline is an effective habit and effective habits lead to effective results. Conversely, ineffective habits produce ineffective results. Firstly, you must discipline yourself to seek awareness and rid yourself of ineffective habits. Then, by utilizing discipline, replace those ineffective habits with useful and productive ones. By doing so, you can achieve anything you want in life.

Discipline, along with a positive attitude, is within your control. Don’t allow those ineffective habits to control you and your future. Instead, discover how daily discipline will eventually alter any negative habits and change your life for the better. Go ahead and make the decision to lead a disciplined life and reap the benefits.

Discipline is 100% within your control. Take the first letter in the word Discipline – D and give it the numerical value 4. Then, take each of the following letters in DISCIPLINE and give each letter its respective numerical value. Add all the letter values and take note that the sum equals 100. If you want to increase your performance by 100%, then, put discipline in the driver’s seat.

Discipline is an effective habit. Discipline is a complete process which includes personal awareness, desire, determination, recognition and reward.

Personal behaviour is a part of discipline. Once a meticulous behaviour is recognized and rewarded, it gets repeated. The process is simple. You determine the necessary behaviour or action required to achieve the goal; do it even when you don’t want to; and finally, recognize and reward that behaviour so it will be repeated.

Allow me to share the discipline in my life.

Years ago, I realized I am most productive in the morning, and classify myself as a “morning person”. I used to get up at 7am every morning. Then I had a thought. Why not get up one hour earlier and dedicated that hour as the most productive time for the most important person in the world – ME? I wondered about the outcome of this simple change.

Over the next month, I got up at 6am and dedicated one hour to Bob. I called it “Bob time” and my objective was to do something for me that will help me achieve my goals. That hour is quite special for me now and also, very satisfying. “Bob time” is both my discipline and an effective habit.

Now, here is the secret to making “Bob time” a discipline and an effective habit. When I used to get up at 7am, I immediately enjoyed a cup of coffee. However, following my decision to begin “Bob time” at 6am, I decided not to have a coffee upon waking, but to wait until “Bob time” ended. My first cup of coffee became my reward for doing what I said I was going to do.

Well, the discipline did not stop there. I believe in physical fitness to maintain good health and well being. Therefore, after my coffee, I venture out for a walk or go skiing, snowshoeing, swimming, etc. for an hour. What do you think my reward is for exercising?

Yes, breakfast! My daily routine begins with a shower, getting dressed and preparing for a keynote, workshop or seminar. Can you imagine how I feel and how I perform for the remainder of the day, based on all I have accomplished before leaving home?

Well, I always feel wonderful and I am truly satisfied with my performance. I permit myself to do something rewarding just for me. I can, in turn, do something special for you.

Statistics stipulate it takes 21 days to develop a habit. Rest assured, that my “Bob time” discipline and subsequent, reward is a definite habit. And that first cup of coffee tastes better than ever before.

Take the time to reflect on your most productive time of day. Once you determine that time, fully utilize one hour of your most productive time and reward yourself upon completion. In no time, you will be disciplined and will achieve the things you thought were impossible in your life.

Remember, attitude and discipline are both within your control. They are the foundation for ongoing self motivation and personal success. Recognize and reward appropriate behaviours and you will enjoy effective habits and valuable disciplines. You are well on your way to where you want to go.

FOR THE TEENAGER WHO IS COMPLAINING ABOUT DOING DISHES BECAUSE THAT MEANS SHE IS AT HOME & NOT ON THE STREETS.

FOR THE TAXES THAT I PAY, BECAUSE IT MEANS THAT I AM EMPLOYED.

FOR THE MESS TO CLEAN AFTER A PARTY, BECAUSE IT MEANS THAT I HAVE BEEN SURROUNDED BY FRIENDS.

FOR THE CLOTHES THAT FIT A LITTLE TOO SNUG, BECAUSE IT MEANS I HAVE ENOUGH TO EAT.

FOR MY SHADOW THAT WATCHES ME WORK, BECAUSE IT MEANS I AM OUT IN THE SUNSHINE.

FOR A LAWN THAT NEEDS MOWING, WINDOWS THAT NEED CLEANING, AND GUTTERS THAT NEED FIXING, BECAUSE IT MEANS I HAVE A HOME.

FOR ALL THE COMPLAINING I HEAR ABOUT THE GOVERNMENT, BECAUSE IT MEANS THAT WE HAVE FREEDOM OF SPEECH.

FOR THE PARKING SPOT I FIND AT THE FAR END OF THE PARKING LOT, BECAUSE IT MEANS I AM CAPABLE OF WALKING AND THAT I HAVE BEEN BLESSED WITH TRANSPORTATION.

FOR MY HUGE HEATING BILL, BECAUSE IT MEANS I AM WARM.

FOR THE LADY BEHIND ME IN CHURCH THAT SINGS OFF KEY, BECAUSE IT MEANS THAT I CAN HEAR.

FOR THE PILE OF LAUNDRY AND IRONING, BECAUSE IT MEANS I HAVE CLOTHES TO WEAR.

FOR WEARINESS AND ACHING MUSCLES AT THE END OF THE DAY, BECAUSE IT MEANS I HAVE BEEN CAPABLE OF WORKING HARD.

FOR THE ALARM THAT GOES OFF IN THE EARLY MORNING HOURS, BECAUSE IT MEANS THAT I AM ALIVE.

AND FINALLY…….FOR TOO MUCH E-MAIL, BECAUSE IT MEANS I HAVE FRIENDS WHO ARE THINKING OF ME.

You can choose to react favourably to a rainy day just as you would react to a sunny day. You have the choice to appreciate the good effects of rain or you can complain about the clouds How you react is within your full control. You have freedom of choice.

When you get caught in a traffic jam, you can get upset, which doesn’t do you any good since traffic is not within your control or you can use the time in traffic to visualize your dreams.

When you face an obstacle, you can choose to be discouraged and even quit or you can seek out the hidden opportunity and learn from the experience.

The problem is that generally people are not taking control of their thoughts, which are within our control

Your thoughts of today author your tomorrow.

A state of mind cannot be purchased, it must be created. Your state of mind is your thought. You can improve the quality of your life by managing your thoughts by reframing them to empower rather than depress you.

You have created your own fears, your own limitations and your own barriers. You are currently the person your thoughts depict based on your past experiences.

You have the ability to control your own state of mind and you can overcome habits and even fears. You have the capability and the right to accept or reject your thoughts. It’s called willpower.

If you fail to control your own mind, how can you control anything else? Control your thoughts or your thoughts will control you. You cannot compromise. Mind control is a result of self-discipline and habit. Keep your mind busy with a definite purpose backed by a definite plan.

Most people in the world today are wandering around aimlessly and/or dependent on lottery ticket winnings in order to live the life of their dreams. Then, you have those who know what they want and have made the decision to make things happen?

Which type are you now?

Which type do you want to be?

If you have decided you want to be one of the first two types, nothing will change. You will remain externally driven and a product of your environment.

The first step to internal (self) motivation is decision making. Decide to do something about your life and not just accept what comes along. You will need discipline and courage, determination and persistence, imagination, a positive attitude, a strong belief in yourself and faith that nothing is impossible.

In the book Disciplined for Life, You Are the Author of Your Future, you
will be provided with direction, exercises and tools to get you where you’ve never been before.

You will drown your greatest fears, you will live your greatest moments, and you will fulfil your deepest dreams simply because you made a decision to be the author of your future.

If you prefer to accept life as it comes, don’t bother reading any further. You will be wasting your time. This book is dedicated to those who are prepared to pay the price by working hard, by utilizing discipline and determination in order to take control of their lives and their destination.

Take the time now to think about your options. Think about the obstacles, the work involved, and the possible outcomes. You could decide to live a life without change or effort or decision; or you could decide to take action and become the author of your future and live the life of your choice.

Which decision will it be?

You must make that decision for yourself, because no one else is going to make that decision for you. Until you make that decision, you will drift aimlessly through life, directed by circumstances and external factors instead of shaping your own future. Whatever you decide, make the effort to stick to that choice.

I realized that my life was my choice and was based on my personal decisions. I discovered I was the only one responsible for my life and therefore, I decided to take full advantage of my decision-making capabilities. I resolved to live the life I chose and to follow my dreams within my full capability.

The first step is to decide that you are going to live the life of your choice. If you don’t make a choice, you are just passing through and leaving life to chance. Don’t settle for circumstances or chance. Life is not about chance, it’s about choice! You have the freedom to choose the life you want.

What makes a decision work?

It is always the decision maker and not the choice that makes it work.
The first step of a successful decision is to make that decision. The act of making a decision is always more important than the substance of the decision itself. Conversely, being indecisive invalidates any or all options because it paralyzes us. The more we make decisions, the more natural the process becomes.

Consider your options, think about your choices, examine your feelings and make a decision about your life. Commit to that decision in every way possible. Make it work.

First of all, it takes courage to ask, but if you don’t ask you don’t get. Am I right? By simply not asking, the answer is automatically a “NO”!

If you have the courage to ask, you will increase the odds of getting a “yes” reply. The odds are 50/50.

When you possess the courage to ask, you increase your odds of getting a positive response. However, if you get a NO answer, did you lose anything? No! How can you lose something you never had?

All it takes is a little courage. Therefore, make it a habit to have the courage to ask. Also, be careful what you ask for, because you may just get it!

You must have the courage to ask yourself what you want out of life. Once you know what you want, you can seek it out. It is by seeking out what you truly want that you will discover all the doors of opportunity right in front of you. Finally, you must have the courage to knock.

Ask and it shall be given you; seek and ye shall find; knock and it shall be opened unto you. For every one that asketh, receiveth; and he that seeketh, findeth; and to him that knocketh it shall be opened. Luke 11: 9-10

Have the courage to ask yourself questions, to ask of others, and to ask often. Don’t ever be shy to ask. If you don’t ask, you don’t get.